River Stories
by River the Night Witch
Summary: What happens when a crazy fanfiction writer gets challenged with prompts? Craziness. Insanity. Randomness. A collection of one-shots or arcs to my versions of ROTG challenges from my friends of my forum. First shot 'Mafia', the Guardians play the game of Mafia. Rated K plus for Bunny's dirty mouth.


**Mafia**

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_Prompt: Write a fic where you, the author, participate in._

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"_Of course_ Bunny's the Mafia! Look at him, he's all twitchy and nervous and I heard him breath unsteadily at night!"

"Rack off! _Yeh're_ obviously the Mafia! Look at him, tryin' to get attention off yerself, accusin' the poor rabbit of the crimes I didn't commit basin' off- off mah' breathin'!"

"You see?! He's _excusing_ himself, quite lamely I should say, Bunny killed Phil this night!"

"WHAT?! I DID NOT-"

"I strongly suspect that North is the Mafia. I mean he was a bandit before, right?"

"TOOTHY! HOW COULD YOU?! I WOULDN'T HURT A SINGLE POOR SOUL!"

"Well, North, this is just a game after all, so it is very possible for you to take opportunity and... Eliminate Phil here, so he wouldn't betray you."

"I HAVE NOT TOUCHED MY OWN YETI WORKER! How could you even _think_ of zat, Tooth?!"

"Squeak squeak..."

"See, Baby Tooth agrees with me!"

*scoffs*

"Come on everybody, it's surely Bunny who's the Mafia."

"Would ya look at him, blamin' me! He's the Mafia! He's all so- so smug and sure of himsel'!"

"Seriously, I think it's North."

"Why didn't anyone consider Dingle as a Mafia?"

"I KNOW WHO ZEE MAFIA IZ!"

"WHO?!"

"SANDY!"

"EVERYONE. SHUT. UP."

Flushed faces. Maniac eyes. Suspicious glares.

Eleven creatures sat, fluttered or stood around a big round table with a big candle and a flame dancing on it, casting eerie shadows that seemed almost alive as they moved and morphed over the walls of the room.

North had his large tattooed hands on the table, glaring at Toothiana accusingly.

Tooth was exchanging a calm conversation with one of her mini-fairies, largely known as Baby Tooth, considering the case of the mysterious Mafia.

Jack and Bunny were standing now, glowering and growling at each other from separate ends of the table.

Phil the Yeti chewed on his nails, huddled in the corner, frightened.

Sandy was snoozing peacefully, using the table as a pillow.

Dingle the Elf was secretly licking a cookie under the table from time to time.

Pitch Black was watching Jack and Bunny from the couch in the shadows eating popcorn with Jamie who was sitting next to him and was sneaking some from bowl that was between them, giggling at the scene. Who knew arguing Bunny and Jack would be so fun?

A young girl with one wet auburn braid and dark green eyes stood at the head of the table with hands raised for silence.

"Riv, don't ya see, I'm tryin' to prove Jack's guilty!"

"Yes River, I have to get ze point over zat it iz Sandy who iz Mafia!"

"Little mortal, don't spoil the comedy. Watching the rabbit and Frost arguing is so entertaining!"

"OI! I'm a _bunny_!"

The girl, presumably River, sighed heavily and gave everyone a stern Look. She trained hard to achieve it, although it still wasn't a match to how her mother did it. Her mother could shut _anyone_ up with one narrowed look.

Now let me tell how it all started.

It all started with the fact that someone was bored.

River, a more or less crazy mortal thirteen year old fanfiction writer was bored.

Bored of the piano studies. Tired of the stupid biology. Dulled of the rainy weather.

So she decided to visit the fugitives of her writings.

How exactly she did it will remain a secret, so people with bad intentions and God forbid, _fangirls_ won't find the opportunity to track down Jack or the others. What can be told is that magic globes, full moons, Mind Palaces and the belief that anything you can imagine is real was involved.

So when River knocked on the door of the North Pole, she was opened by a very well-known Jack Frost and Santa Claus or more rather North, who were looking at her as if she was crazy. Well, of course they were absolutely right, she was insane and a weirdo, but that doesn't mean anything, does it?

What did, were the arranged matters and a stack of Mafia cards which she showed to everyone. She also arranged things so that Pitch would call truce and join the game (she actually blackmailed him too, or she threatened to tell everyone why exactly he was called the Boogeyman, which in order involved the boogie dance). Also she managed to ask Jamie who was one hundred percent for it.

So the little game was started, with River as the guide.

The first Night Jamie was eliminated, who was really just a civilian. Quite ironically, he was shot two times. Of course on the Day meeting Pitch was chosen to be the Mafia as he had a grudge against Jamie and could really do it, but he too, turned out to be a civilian. The next night Phil the Yeti was killed. The matters were being hotly discussed, because the main threat of Pitch was struck down and no one had any weighty arguments.

"SILENCE."River said quietly but it sounded like in big letters, and everyone hastily closed their mouths. No one wanted to deal with a crazy teenaged fanfiction girl writer, who managed to actually get them all together and make them play Mafia. Although everyone couldn't say they didn't enjoy it.

"Good. Everyone done with your argumentories?"this raised a lot of voices who protested but the lazy authoress cut them off anyway.

"Great, you are. Now, voting time!"she said cheerfully. All of the participants watched her wearily, because currently Riv was a bit hyper on North's cookies and her mood change was comparable to weather.

"First, who's for Jack?"

Bunny, Pitch and Dingle raised their hands. Bunny raised both of his hands.

"ЭЙ! No cheating! And Peach, you're out already. You can't vote."Riv threatened and Bunnymund grumbled lowering one hand. Pitch muttered something unintelligible.

"What was that, dear?"River asked sweetly. Pitch immediately reddened as much as he could with his grey skin and looked away.

"Yes, honey, don't say that ever again with me in ten miles range. Now, who's for Bunny?"

Two hands raised.

"Who's for North?"

Three hands raised.

"Dingle, stop voting for everybody. Again, who's for North?"

Two hands raised.

"For Tooth?"

None raised their hands.

"Who's for little Baby sweetheart?"

Again none raised.

"And for Sandy?"

North raised his arm.

"Okay. North, you're out mate. Come on, reveal your identity!"Riv smiled at Russian man who was swearing.

"YOU ALL BETRAYED ME! I AM ZE DOCTOR!"he boomed angrily and threw the card with the Tenth Doctor drawn on it on the table. Everyone groaned.

"OH NO! WE KILLED THE DOCTOR! SHAME ON EVERYONE!"Jack drawled. River rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Don't get me on that topic. I'm still in depression, y'know. Even with all my not liking to Eleventh it was a bit shocking that he sneezed and turned into Capaldi."she wiped her eyes. Everyone else exchanged glances, not having the courage to comment.

"Well now, Night falls, the Town goes to sleep. I said 'goes to sleep'. NOW! Sandy, no, not _sleep_ sleep! Just SLEEP. UGH! WAKE HIM UP NOW! What do you mean, 'you can't'? WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!"

Riv stormed to Bunny and slapped him on the back of head, causing the golden carrots to dissevers and Bunnymund to bolt upright from the table.

"Wha? What happene'?"

Riv pointed at Sandy.

"Now. Close. Your. EYES!"Riv yelled and every living or not living creature in the room shut their eyes.

"Finally. Now Mafia, awaken and make your choice!"she said and giggled in an evil manner.

The Mafia awakened. The Mafia made the choice. The Mafia went back to sleep.

"Good!"River chuckled. "Next, the Sheriff. Make your investigation and give it a shot. Uh-huh? Great, now the Sheriff goes to his bed. Yes, go to bed. Or do you want me to use the tranquilizer gun? No? THEN GO TO YOUR BED THIS INSTANT! Yes, this is revenge for mom making me go to bed early. Really, it's only half past eleven and she wants me to sleep, for God's sake. Insane. Oh, sorry, I'm rambling now. So, Morning comes, the Town awakens-"

Everybody opened their eyes wearily.

"-except for Baby Tooth. Sorry sweetie!"Riv smiled apologetically at the tooth faerie. Said faerie huffed in annoyance. Jack looked puzzled. He was certain that this time if Bunny was the Mafia, he'd kill him. But following that theory, Bunny wouldn't have done it simply because it would almost immediately backfire on the Pooka, because everyone would suspect him. He told all this to everybody. Riv nodded, approvingly. "Good deduction. Sherlock certainly changed you for the best."

Jack looked a bit prouder.

"Okay, let's cut it to the voting this time. Anyhow, who votes for Jack?"

Bunny raised his hand.

"Who votes for Bunny?"

Jack raised his.

"Who's for Tooth?"

Again, no one raised a hand for the Tooth Fairy.

"Anyone for Dingle?"

This caused rolling eyes, secret sighs and mumbling of 'of course not, he's stupid, he can't be the Mafia'. Riv kept a poker face at this, which she was surprisingly good at, but in her head she chuckled evilly. Everything went just as planned.

"And for Sandy?"

Dingle and Tooth raised their hands.

"Sorry Sandy. Surrender to justice and show us your identity."

Sandy looked up dreamily and slowly took out a card. He turned it over and showed everyone a picture of a peaceful civilian. He then put it in the stack in the middle of the table and returned to sleeping. The following silence could be cut with a knife.

"So... Night falls everybody, so go to your beds and DO NOT PEAK OUT FROM THE BLANKET."Riv out hands on her hips and glared at everyone expressively.

Night fell... And two pairs of eyes opened, both glittering in the candlelight, with cunning and intelligence as two finger pointed at Bunny. Riv grinned and nodded at them.

"Alrighty,"she giggled "Now the Sheriff goes out to hunt the prey..."

Sheriff opened his eyes and gave a soundless thumb up as he pointed at Bunny. Riv gave thumb-ups back and waved him off.

"And so he made the choice and goes back to sleep. Morning comes and everyone wakes up..."she dramatically drawled the end of the sentence as everyone stared at her. "-Except for Bunny."

"WHAT?! I KNEW IT, FROSTBITE YEH'RE DEAD MEAT, COME 'ERE YEH LIL' PIECE OF-"

"As much as I would love to hear some of your exquisite Aussie cursing for my research, I can't allow that while there are kids under twelve here."River cut the bunny off, referring specifically to Jamie. "And so, please turn in the card. Come on."

Grumbling something indeed dirty, Bunny showed the civilian card. The tension became unbearable. "Hm... This is getting interesting... Voting time then! Who's for Tooth?"still stunned from the revelation,_ because he was so convinced that Bunny was he Mafia!_ , Jack raised a hand.

"Who's for Dingle?"

No one raised a hand.

"Who's for Jack?"

Tooth and Dingle raised their hands.

"Jack, sorry mate, you're out of it. Who are you?"Riv eyed the winter spirit, who was staring at Tooth and Dingle. "This can't be... It can't be, because I'm the SHERIFF!"he slapped the card on the table with the Eleventh Doctor in a Sheriff hat.

Then River started laughing insanely."MUHAHAHAHA, Y'ALL TOTALLY FELL FOR IT! TOOTH, DINGLE, YOU CAN BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES!"she said as Tooth and Dingle high-fived each other over the table, and the cards with Moriarty and the Master fell from their hands. "THE MAFIA WINS!"Riv announced and started a 'muhahaha' laugh. She ruined the moment when she sneezed loudly. "Anyhow. Who's in for another round?"

Everyone of the eleven beings raised both of their hands.

"Great! Who's gonna be the next guide?"

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**A/N:** Soooo... Ahem. That was random. And crazy. And insane. Anyway, this is the first prompt from the topic on my forum, and if anyone interested what the **** I'm talking about, it's this forum called 'A Shadow In The Daylight' and the topic's where we challenge each other with ROTG fic ideas. Everyone get reviews in result. This prompt was 'write a fic where you, the author, participate in' and so this is the opening prompt to this fic. If you want to participate, please contact me or go to the forum I mentioned earlier and find the 'Writing Contests, Fanfiction Ideas and Prompts' and you can participate too:3 Anyway, REVIEW. I wanna know of this is any good at all.

Love, peace and cookies

River Melody

And... NO COOKIES FOR YOU UNTIL YOU REVIEW! THE COOKIE GIVER UNLOCKS WITH EVERY REVIEW THIS GETS.

Pfffttt, I'm kidding. Here, have cookies*gives cookies* X3


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